The Chennai Times

A long stretch of a well-laid out tar road. Well-lit, well-used and mostly abused, taking a beating incessantly, from blaring four-wheelers and speeding 2-wheelers to the ubiquitous “share autos”.

A road, named on one of the oldest religious places in Southern India, and what is today called a “Information Technology Highway”. Dotted with sky-rises and glassy exteriors on the one side and coconut trees with thatched roof huts on the other, lungi-clad fishermen on cycles to professionals in swanky automobiles, a posh shopping mall stands comfortably next to an unassuming wine shop – One of the great social levelers as one of my close friends had once put it – you would find feet clad in a pair of Nike’s as well as cheap worn-out rubber slippers in there asking for the same, sweet taste of sin.

Old Mahabalipuram Road – almost a conundrum in present times and yet comfortably stretched out, accommodating all it’s peccadilloes.

Amidst all this, sharing a small piece of land on this stretch, is a pink colored apartment. Yes, don’t rub your eyes; you read that right – Pink. Well, actually, it has 2 colors, but if you were to stand outside of it and stare at it for sometime, you would get the pinkcture. It is called “Best Homes”.

That was were I spent a time of my life.

A whirlwind. A tornado at times, a pleasant breeze otherwise.  Standing on a plateau. Greenery around. Arms flailing, free-falling to the ground. Comfortably numb, and sometimes uncomfortably dumb.

Some day I hope my vocabulary gives me the perfect word for that.

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And amidst all this, a motley crew – characters I stumbled upon by chance and some, by choice. Characters I had never expected to come across. And yet, I did. As cliched as it is, it’s strange how life gives you what you need, when you least expect it. Mired in the chaos around, it’s only the dots that we do not see joining themselves for us.

Generous, fun-loving souls, each with a bone that sets them apart. One that is food for another post!

A crumpled 100 rupee note you find in your back pocket when your wallet is empty. The rusted key you find to the lock of an old trunk. A glimpse of sanity you find in a corner of your head.  Serendipity.

That was the time I had. The Chennai Times.

aahh….chhoo!!!

don_t_sneeze_

**Sniff!!**

In my umble opinion, which I have acquired zince today morning, the only other thing thats worse than having loose motions while you are stuck in a traffic jam on the highway (bick any city – they’re all the same anyways), is **aaahh…**, having a nose that just refuses to stop dripping oodles of fluid while you have lunch in your packed canteen, and the only resources you have at hand to save face (read:Nose) is the sleeve of your T-shirt and some tissues that you steal from the caterer guy in the office canteen…not to mention the “hand” I just mentioned!
**Sniff…aaahh!! **
Ya, I know. The incredulous look on your face. Why tissues..And that too why from the caterer guy!! 
Well, 2 reasons -
a. A hurried exit from the room to catch the office bus – Missed my handkerchief!
b. Global recession, cost-cutting – No tissues in the restrooms! Bloody ell! God bless Tamanna Caterers! May they never have issues with tissues!
Now sniff off!!
 

Dont you dare..

...call me an Idiot, or…or…

I SHALL TELL MUMMY!!!

Read it here!! 

NEW DELHI: ‘Idiot’ is a grossly misused word and an oversimplified epithet, if one goes by the Supreme Court‘s brand new definition of the term. It is almost impossible for a person to qualify as an idiot, says the Court and therefore, few can expect to get a reprieve for an offence.

To be legally accepted as an ‘idiot’, one has to be so dumb as to be unable to count till 20, list the days of the week, or fail to remember the names of one’s parents, the Court said on Friday.

Under Section 84 of the Indian Penal Code, a person is not liable to be prosecuted if they are of unsound mind, or incapable of comprehending the nature of the criminal act and the fact that it is against the law.

The Supreme Court identified just four kinds of people who could be classified mentally unsound — idiots, the very ill, lunatics and drunks.

“An idiot is one who is of non-sane memory from his birth, by a perpetual infirmity, without lucid intervals: and those are said to be idiots who cannot count 20, or tell the days of the week or who do not know their fathers or mothers or the like,” said the judgement by Justices Arijit Pasayat and M K Sharma. They added that it was for the accused to prove they were idiots or otherwise of unsound mind.

I can count to 20, that too in 4.5 languages. (The .5 is for the Japanese version – i do get confused with the sounds!!)

I can also list the days of the week…although I might end up with more Saturdays and Sundays than any other…but mind you, (menacing finger, and teeth gritting, and eye reddening, and head hurting thinking of all the other angry expressions!!) it does not make me an idiot!

Phmmpff!

the notes that tug…

You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

- Time, Pink Floyd

For all those who trip on music. who’s ever dreamt of being in a rock band. strum a few chords on the guitar to your favorite song. who dream. a must watch – Rock On!!.

musically. poignant. subtle. understated.

I need the glass. and Pink Floyd.

Curd rice with Fuji-san…

They say “A wise man climbs Fuji once, only a Fool climbs it twice“.

Now, I have never understood why one always says “they say”. I mean, wouldn’t you know who they are who say all these nice words when you say they say? How foolish would “they” feel when “they” would realize that “they” are just “they”, without being given names? And how big a fool would you feel when I say, that I do not know who “they” are and am just aimlessly digressing on who said that line, when my only intention to say that was to let you know that I climbed Fuji the first time and reached the top, and so will not have to do it again, and hence proved that I am a wise man like the good old Confuscious!! – Q.E.D!!!

Phew! Wiping sweat from forehead! Man, what was that for?

OK. After that brief display of some emotional rantings, let us get back to sanity.

Quite evidently, I am very ecstatic about the fact that I scaled Japan’s highest volcano mountain, measured at around 3760 meters, and where you can breath with only about 64% of the normal oxygen level.

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To Be or…Hanabi!!

Sizz…wheeeww…boom!!..

Pop-pop-pup…fizzzz…fuzzz…

Ok, please do not jump for cover and distort your faces. These are not the different kinds of “misdirected burps” I am describing here. Please! As they say, what happens in “Vegas” stays in “Vegas”, so shall this be. Although, sometimes they do happen while you’re asleep, or just when you’re about to enter a meeting after the paneer butter curry with nan you had for lunch, and while the Tech lead is busy describing the bugs in your code, all you hear are those “internal explosions” I was referring to above.

Well, I am getting back to my old habit here. Digressing.
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It is whatitees…

Yeah, Yeah. You there. Yes, that’s you, I am calling out. I know what you’re thinking…

“I had seen this blog a zillion years ago, in the quadrajurassico (??) era, when it was called something like “caniwrite.blogspot.com” . Sounding all humble and nice with the title, while still refreshing the page every 2 minutes to check for comments, this guy had last written about going to Japan, a Sumo wrestler, Joey Tribbiani and some mindless drivel (as always). And he now thinks that he can make a dramatic entry again with just a snazzy looking theme (which is not his, by the way, thank you very much!!) and a rather stupid title – ‘Do you know what it ees?’ Do I know what it is – Hell, does he know what it ees!!? I mean – where in that Sumo’s name had he gone and what makes him think I would again start reading this mish-mash of a blog that is! Oh, by the way, it has become http://whatitees.com – My, my, what some extra money, Japanese food, and a rather empty head can do! “

Well. Talk about being self-demeaning – this feels like I just bent my foot backwards and kicked myself in the ass over and over again.

Anyways, without sounding overtly apologetic and dramatic about it , I would like to express my sincerest apologies to the few dedicated readers I was privileged to have who, fortunately for me, enjoyed reading my posts before. And even their exhortations to get me back at writing did not do much. Well, the reason for being MIB (Missing In Blog – Thanks, I just made it up) was owing to, amongst a host of other things, a rather busy head and some serious lack of writing spirit.
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Sumo and my Sumi…

Oui…

Shun Sanjo

[1]

I will be going to Japan soon.
If Joey Tribbiani were around me now, he would probably have asked me, “the country?”.

Speaking of whom, did you know, that while in his initial acting days, when he did commercials, he was able to buy a house, a car, a motorcycle and a wardrobe full of clothes just by doing an ad for Heinz Ketchup! Man, is that something or is it something??[2]

Well, anyways. My company thinks that I am unmarried enough to have a plate of noodles and sushi along with Ketchup for breakfast, lunch, dinner and any other time in between, without that “oh-i-wish-i-had-someone-who-could-make-idli sambhar-here” look on my face, and finds me fit enough to handle the Japanese clients there. Of course, there they just call them clients.

However, when I refer to the word “fit”, it’s not to imply “physically fit”, that I am going to take on the mighty Sumo wrestlers there. That would be a virtual Kamikaze. I would rather escape on a Sumo if I ever get into a tiff with them. And by that, I mean the Tata Sumo vehicle, not on the wrestler’s back. Sumojho? Continue reading